#kill me I don’t want to look at these stuff
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Have you watched Murder Drones, and if so what’s your opinion on it?
Also your art is great, keep it up.
Thank you!
And uh. Man. I may make an enemy out of another indie fandom because I don’t really like this show.
I actually loved the pilot and thought episodes 1-3 were incredible, if a bit too fast paced. But episode 4 was kind of a breaking point for me and I dropped off after that.
I don’t think it’s very funny. I think it relies too much on Bathos and it makes it hard to take its cast seriously. As a black comedy it mostly worked for episodes 1-3, but 4? No.
It does this thing I really despise in media where it has themes of genocide but like… heavily deprioritizes it and often portrays it like a comedy. It’s supposed to be funny when innocent characters are murdered because they’re just goofy side characters but when it’s a major character suddenly we have to care, and I don’t like that at all. The main character has a meltdown over finding out that murder drones are sent to kill her people at the end of the pilot, and then in episode 4 she’s murdering her classmates and crying because a boy she likes might think she’s weird. I actually find it pretty frustrating that the robots are portrayed as incredibly cowardly because they’re slowly dying off and scared to die and then they’re hanging out with V who casually murders random children and nobody reacts to it.
I actually do like the idea of a character who’s not reformed but is kind of forced to stick around but when I see her murder characters, traumatize children and then go “haha I just have mental problems” and everyone just… moves on, I just cannot bring myself to care. It causes such a massive dissonance and not in a fun way.
I think it’s very frustrating and unengaging when a story about people doing the right thing and trying to help others has no interest in helping those they’re trying to save.
I think the female cast is solid but I did kind of raise my eye a bit when the only major female character that was killed off was a victim of genocide while the other genocidal characters, two of which gleefully murdered her fucking parents, are just allowed to hang out with the rest of the cast. Uzi especially lost a lot of sympathy for me when she was more emotional about freaking out N than murdering her classmates. Like yeah, they weren’t the nicest to her but it’s weird to establish a character wants to end genocide and then… barely reacts when they also indulge in that genocide.
I don’t really like the characters at all. I don’t like Uzi, I found N irritating and boring (and gives me anime harem protagonist vibes), I thought V was a tryhard and I couldn’t really care for the rest of the cast. I liked Doll but lol, you know how that turned out.
It also has this problem of having an overloaded cast with very little breathing room. I really wish the show just had one, low stakes episode, so we can actually get to know these characters and collect their thoughts. It’s actually one of my concerns for TADC, because as much as I do like that show, I think “no filler” with constant story is going to make or break the show for me. It’s too fast paced and no, I don’t think it’s good that you have to rewatch an episode 4 times to understand what’s going on. I don’t watch indie shows to play where’s Waldo, information should be explained to the audience in a way that feels digestible and natural.
The animation is incredible and the stuff that came out from the finale was insane, but at times it just felt like jangling keys in my face. Like don’t pay attention to rushed story, underdeveloped characters and bizarre tonal whiplash, look at the cool fights. I dont think it does horror well either. In fact I kind of cringe a bit when characters a big wide grins and giggle evilly and it’s mean to be intimidating and it just. Doesn’t work. Feels a bit juvenile honestly.
And. This is a very personal thing. I don’t like the robot designs.
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SLEAZE ✶⋆.˚ MIYA OSAMU
CHAPTER ONE: locked out
SOUNDTRACK: i don't know you by mannequin pussy
cw: implied ed/unhealthy relationship to food
For breakfast, she cracks an egg onto a hot pan. She ignores it, and lets it crack and bubble, turning her attention to a cold clump of white rice she pulled from the fridge. She turns on the faucet of her kitchen sink and lets the water run into the bowl before she tosses it in the microwave. Two minutes. The eggs pop and crackle in the pan.
When the microwave beeps, she grabs the bowl with her bare hands and burns them. She mumbles curses under her breath and equips herself with a dishrag before she goes at it again. Haphazardly, she slips the egg out of the pan and onto the steaming bowl of rice. She sits down at her counter, remembers that she left the stovetop on, and stands to turn it off before she gets her first bite in.
The eggs are overcooked and tough, but she likes it that way, because if the texture is too runny, it makes her think of snot, and she gets too repulsed to eat anymore. The rice is gummy and sticky. She eats about half of the egg and a quarter of the rice before she gives up, and, when she documents this failure to empty her plate, she cites her inability properly prepare food that isn’t a hot. mushy, chewy mess as the reason. She dumps the rest of it in the trash.
✶⋆.˚
She’s technically unemployed. When her mother calls her to try and rectify this, she falls back on Kenma.
“-and if you want to start auditioning again, I can call my agent friend, and we can get you set up. It’s really no trouble at all. He’d really love to see you on screen again. We all would, sweetie. It’s been so long, and you’re just so talented. Doesn’t it seem like a waste to just rot away in that apartment of yours? With the connections that you have it seems an awful shame. There are a lot of people who would kill for what you have, honey.”
There’s an unlit cigarette in her mouth. Kenma reaches out and snatches it from her mouth before she can light it. He doesn’t even look back at her as he snaps it in half.
“No, Mom, it’s okay,” she says, phone pressed between her elbow and her cheek as she shuffles to grab her pack out from her sweatshirt pocket again. “I got a lot of stuff going on with Kenma and his Bouncing Balls thing,” she pulls out the carton and flicks the lid open, “I don’t think I have the time to even prepare for an audition, and even if I wanted to,” Kenma grabs at the entire carton and forces it out of her hand. She hits his arm.
Her mother sighs wistfully on the other line. “Well, if you change your mind, let me know. It’d really make me happy to see you act again.”
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. From his spot on his couch beside her, Kenma removes one hand from his phone to place it on her knee. “I know, Mom.”
“Just let me know. I’ve got to go now. I have a dinner with one of the producers of Ripple Effect. I know you don’t want me to, but I’ll bring your name up just in case. They’re always looking for guest stars. You never know, you might change your mind.”
“Yeah, I might,” she agrees, knowing that she won’t. She looks at Kenma, like she’s begging to be saved, but he keeps his focus on his phone, indifferent to her suffering. “Have fun at your dinner. I’ll talk to you later.”
She doesn’t wait for her mother’s response before she hangs up, but before she can press that red button, she can hear her mother’s half-hearted ‘love you,’ come through the speaker. She pockets her phone.
“It’s Bouncing Ball,” Kenma says, still not looking up from his phone.
“What?” She leans back against the arm of the couch, and kicks her legs out, so her calves are resting on Kenma’s lap. He used to push her legs off of him whenever she did this, but now it seems that it’s not worth the effort to him.
“It’s ball, not balls,” he corrects, and it occurs to her that this is far from the first time he’s had to do so. She can’t ever remember the difference. Ball or balls. Makes no difference to her. “And what are you so busy doing here that you can’t audition for anything?”
If it weren’t for Kenma, she’d have to get a real job. But she has Kenma, so she was able to dish out enough of her child actor savings to throw at him, and he took it and made it so she gets a healthy paycheck at the end of every week. She doesn’t know how it works. Kenma’s explained it to her before, but she’s never really listened. Matters of money bore her. Most things bore her.
She likes to pretend that Kenma just likes spending time with her enough to pay her for it. It’s more interesting than being an investor or partial owner or whatever the fuck she actually is.
She gives Kenma a bright grin. “Keeping you company, of course.”
“You should get a real job, instead,” he tells her, shutting off his phone and tossing it on the couch cushion. “It’s a better way of spending your time than bothering me all day.”
“Stop pretending you don’t like me,” she tells him. Kenma’s indifference used to eat away at her. In high school, she would obsess over earning his affection, and it drove her insane that he wouldn’t give it up. She used to think she was in love with him, but it turned out she had just tied in her self-worth to his approval.
Turns out she does that kinda thing pretty often.
And anyways, Kenma’s indifference was never really indifference. He just took a few years to get used to.
“It’d be good for you,” he says. “If not for money, then just so you have something to do. Maybe just something part-time.”
Her eyes roll, almost automatically. All anyone ever does is complain about the job they’ve got. Even if they love it. Even if they’ve dedicated their life to it. She has plenty of unread texts in her phone from Kuroo to prove it. “I’m plenty happy without one.”
Kenma makes some noise in the back of his throat that comes across as half disapproving and half disinterested. And the conversation ends there.
✶⋆.˚
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
The wind is whipping her hair in her face and blocking the view of the inside of her purse as her hands frantically push aside her belongings. Her lip-gloss and pepper spray and loose coins knock together as she tries to find her keys.
But no matter how much she moves around her purse’s insides, she can’t find them. And in fact, she can picture perfectly where they are: sitting on the edge of the counter in Kenma’s kitchen, next to her stolen pack of cigarettes and a half-empty can of an energy drink.
The wind is getting colder and she’s starting to shiver under her thin jacket. Just behind the locked door, there’s a faux minx coat hanging up above her shoe rack, and she’s fantasizing about its warmth.
“Fuck,” she grumbles again, eventually moving past denial and giving up her search for her keys in favor of her phone. Kenma’s the only person she ever calls, so she’s quick to find his contact. She calls his number, and steps away from her front door, one arm pressing her phone to her ear, and the other wrapping around her center, pulling the jacket tighter to her.
The phone rings, and rings, and Kenma does not answer. She hangs up and tries to dial again but gets the same result. “Fuck, Kenma, I left your keys at my place and now I’m locked out. Call me back please.”
She hangs up, and scrolls through her notifications, hoping that there’s some text from Kenma saying he found her keys and is already on his way to bring them to her.
kodzuken has gone live!
She’s fucked.
Feeling defeated, she flops back against the door, and pouts. The solution to most of her problems. Kenma wouldn’t notice if she kicked down his door. She’s sure she could break in, if she tried hard enough. Though one of his neighbors might call the police if she tries to break a window in. And even if they didn’t, Kenma might not forgive her for that one. He’d probably give her a pay cut, if he could. Actually, she’s not sure he could, she’s not really sure how it works.
“Hey!”
She lifts her head. The Miya of Onigiri Miya is standing at the edge of the sidewalk, hands deep in his pockets. A car passes between them, and then it’s just the two of them. She swallows.
She takes a step forward without really thinking about it. He looks cold, arms exposed by the short sleeves of his t-shirt, covered in nothing else but his store apron. He grabs at the brim of his cap, and then pulls it down firm. “Are you okay?”
✶⋆.˚
In front of her is her usual lunch, salmon onigiri, plated neatly on the counter of Onigiri Miya. She sits there, the restaurant’s only occupant, and keeps her arms by her side, staring down at the meal before her.
“Is everything okay?”
Her eyes flick up. Behind the counter, where he usually is, is the owner. The titular Miya. With the arms.
She looks back down at her plate. The idea of eating her lunchtime food at night makes her uneasy. There’s a cold plate of curry rice in her fridge she was supposed to be heating up instead. She doesn’t want to eat in front of Miya. She does usually, during lunch, but it’s different. He’s too busy then, hands full with tasks and customers, to notice her eating. Now, it’s like there’s a spotlight on her.
“I just made your usual lunch order,” Miya says, like he went too long without an answer and got nervous. He scratches the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask what you want, I just figured. If it’s not what you wanted, I can make you something else.”
“No,” she shakes her head, now feeling like she’s got no choice. “This is great, thanks.”
She smiles at him, and he smiles back. And he doesn’t look away as she tepidly lifts the onigiri to take a small bite out of the corner, feeling nauseous and watched as she does so.
This seems to satisfy him. “Good?” he questions.
She nods as she chews, smiling as she swallows. “Yeah, great as always,” she tells him, lying. It tastes like everything else does to her. “You make my favorite food, y’know.”
That’s at least true. It is her favorite food. She likes that he makes it, carefully, with his own hands.
He blushes at this. “Thanks. I, uh, I appreciate that.”
She’s spent a lot of time imaging him, thinking of scenarios like this one. The two of them alone, passing tension-filled words and blushing flirtations. He has been carefully constructed, pieced together in her mind.
Though, he’s not as forward as she imagined him to be, not as talkative. In her head, he is bold and gives her straightforward compliments and he fusses over her and he is smooth with his words. In her head, he feeds her with his own hands and wipes the corner of her mouth with his thumb.
But in real life, he’s reserved. Polite but not saying more than he needs to. He hasn’t professed attraction or begged her for a date or pressed her against the wall. He hasn’t done anything but give her a plate of food and a warm place to wait for Kenma.
Which isn’t as disappointing as she thought it would be. It just sort of makes her want it more.
Her phone buzzes on the countertop. She flips it over to see nothing from Kenma, but a generic ‘here’s what you missed’ Twitter notification. She hesitantly takes another bite from her meal, and it hits the pit of her stomach like a wet pile of mud.
In her seat, she feels awkward. She tries to think of something intriguing to say. Something that would make him want to see more of her. But all she can think of his how hot the lights of the store feel when he’s there, watching as she eats.
“Thanks for letting me wait here,” she says eventually. “I am sorry to keep you here past closing, though.”
Miya shrugs. “Nah, don’t worry about it. It got me out of making dinner for my brother, so it actually works out pretty great for me.”
Her phone vibrates again. Her mother this time.
Dinner went well! I got a good word in with that producer, so you might be getting a call soon!
She can’t help but make a face. She wipes it off as soon as she feels it grow.
“Bad news from your friend?” Miya asks, reading the sourness of her expression.
“Uh, no. Just my mom,” she explains, and shifts around in her seat. “She’s trying to get me on a television show.”
Miya leans forward, resting his forearms on the counter in front of her. It makes her oddly nervous. “And it’s not going well?”
She snickers. “Actually, it’s going a little too well. I’m not really into acting. I retired when I was eight.”
“Yeah, I remember,” he tells her. “Me and my brother used to watch Family Sized with our mom every week. He had a crush on you, and he cried when you left the show.”
It’s weird for her to think that people just know. Especially him. That he can just look back at some of the worst years of her life as just as a collection of fond moments from his childhood. An hour to bond once a week with his brother and mother. To sit in front of the television and watch her suffer through her childhood.
Him, and everyone else in the goddamn country.
“Yeah, my mom too,” she says wryly. “She’s been trying to get me back in it ever since then. Unfortunately for her, I like my current job too much.”
“Yeah? What’s your current job?”
She smiles. “I’m unemployed.”
Miya laughs, dropping his head down as he chuckles, and she feels oddly proud for making him laugh. Even if it’s at her own expense. He straightens up and stands upright. “Well, if you ever do want a job, you can always try it out here.”
It’s not an invitation for late night drinks, but she takes it as an indicator that maybe he wouldn’t mind spending more time with her. She’s counting it as a win. “Yeah, if you ever want to give your customers food poisoning, I’d be a great hire.”
Another notification from her phone. This one’s from Kenma.
I sent an Uber back to your place. Just stay at my place tonight. I don’t feel great about you going back and forth this late at night.
She looks down at her barely eaten onigiri and then back up at Miya again. “Got an Uber coming my way,” she tells him. “I’ll go outside and wait for it. Thanks for letting me stay here.”
“You sure you don’t need anything else?” he questions. “Do you want me to wrap up the rest of that for you so you can take it home?”
She says yes, because she thinks it would offend him if she said no. So he places the rest of it an a paper box for her and she says thank you as she takes it from him, knowing she has no intention of finishing it off.
A car pulls up to the outside of her apartment as she’s walking out the door. She turns back to Miya, and she says, “Tell your brother I’m sorry, by the way, for leaving the show and making him cry like that.”
He waves her off. “Don’t worry about him,” he tells her. “I’m hoping he’s over it, by now.”
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#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu#haikyuu fic#haikyuu x yn#haikyuu x you#hq#hq x reader#miya osamu x y/n#osamu x reader angst#osamu x y/n#osamu x you#osamu fic#hq osamu#miya osamu x reader#haikyuu osamu#miya osamu#osamu x reader#miya osamu x you#miya osamu x yn
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Ur art is such an inspiration and motivation for me, as a fellow artist. I’ve been following ur stuff for a bit now and I was wondering how you decided to draw loid, yor, and anya the way you do. I say this bc I really want to start making my own fan arts, but i struggle to take this anime style and have these character read as [insert character] without it being in a “anime style.”
And I guess this applies to any character you want take from a media, and translate it into your style. Bc i don’t necessarily think ur art style is considered “anime” i kinda just see it as an abstraction ig. But even if it is, it isn’t in the style of anime show is yk? Yet the characters read as who they’re supposed to be.
And I think a while back you u mentioned that you were struggling on decided how to draw loid. ig i wanna know How did you come to the decision that “yes, this looks correct and I wanna draw him like this.”
Is it finding defining feature and proportions? Just messing around until you figure something out? And I assume you make a character sheet to keep it consistent?
Like i literally go to art school but cant draw anything without a reference photo and it killing me 😔💀💀
Sorry for the yapp i’m just down bad rn and really love ur work. Please help be get out of the reference photo trap😭
Also sorry if this reads weird and has errors i’m sleep deprived and can’t bring myself to go back and reread
WHAIUGOUGH???? UR TOO KIND??? THANK U
i will try my best to answer below, but i dont think it is anything profound or super secret lmao
so i think that artists get really caught up with finding/establishing a style when they are first starting out. i say this because i was no different. to me it was like 'oh if i have a style then i am a Real artist instead of just a copier'
but like, i think that order is backwards. like the more that you draw things you enjoy, the more those drawings will become your own and in your 'style' if that makes sense. heavy emphasis on the quantity here. you just gotta go really at it. and the best way to do this is through sheer quantity tbh.
however at the same time, i dont really agree with the whole 'draw x things per day every day' thing cuz sometimes thats just hard man. i mean you mentioned you were in art school so you're probably drawing every day anyways, but for a hobbyist or fanartist (me lol) its mostly based on whether u feel like drawing or not. Which is why its rlly cool when you have a show/book/movie/anything you're really into which makes you want to draw more! it becomes something fun rather than a chore.
so basically, dont view a style as something you have to develop right away, or turn drawing into a chore, because that will be very counteractive trust me.
another important thing i wanted to mention, you said "reference photo trap" but ITS NOT A TRAP! USE REFERENCES!!! REFERENCES ARE IMPORTANT AND GOOD (i am assuming you already know this, but using references is not the same as tracing. just to make it clear)
this is another thing common with newer artists (and of course how i used to be), where you feel like you have to draw 'from your mind' for it to be an indicator of any skill. NOT TRUE!! you need to use references to get better!
lastly, to answer your question (as best i can lol) there was never any point when i decided 'yes this is it' when drawing. you just draw and draw and keep changing and growing. it is a little of everything you said (defining features, proportions, messing around) but it is also just drawing a lot and having fun! :D oh and i definitely do not have a character sheet. i am not anywhere near that organized LMAO
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please continue to call out people for putting useless things in ‘x reader’ tags and clogging it up with anything but ff!!! (saw you in the replies of one of said posts) The amount of people I’ve blocked specifically in the dazai x reader tags bc they just tag anything they post with it 😒
im glad you agree. i feel bad i probably come off as a bitch when i do it. but i fail to comprehend how these people complaining about misusing tags don’t see the irony in complaining under tags that don’t fucking apply to their complaint. the misuse of tags i see 99% of the time are these types of posts. it’s just fucking annoying
as for people who want more fluff/angst than smut, idk what to say. look on ao3 or wattpad. this hellsite isn’t the be all end all of ff.
and the ‘for reach’ stuff kills me because like reach my butthole actually. bitching and moaning about writers not writing fluff or angst isn’t going to make them write fluff or angst. go hard for the writers that do, that you like—reblog and comment and encourage them and you’ll probably get more content like that. request shit. you’re not gonna guilt anyone into writing what u want them to. write it yourself if you’re that starved for it. i reread the same sigzai/reader fics including my own because there’s not a lot of content out there and i get by just fine. idk be the change you want to see in the world or stfu
sorry for getting preachy anon, i know you get it. this shit just irritates me
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WIP Wednesday
Tagged by @firefly-factory ! Thank you!!! ✨❤️ I’m having decision paralysis soooo idk what to share really…. It’s not that I don’t have stuff to share… I just want some things to not…. Be shared yet lol! 😂 but I eventually decided! Why not share Estinan? It’s not Sifkni, but she is a werewolf! She knows Sifkni very well too! And eventually she’ll be all gross with Brynjolf!
Gonna tag @umbracirrus @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @thequeenofthewinter @madamefluffnstuff @moriche
@pocket-vvardvark @fangsandsoftgrass @moicaire @skyrim-forever
And anyone else that wants to join! Feel free to tag me please!!! Whether it’s art or writing or crafts!
Brynjolf watched as Estinan slid down the ladder and walked over to her bed. He looked away briefly when she started changing her clothing. He saw a large healing wound on her shoulder. He sucked in air. His eyes wandered to her other scars across her back. She turned abruptly. His eyes locked with her amber ones. She flashed him a smile and turned back to her small dresser, pulling out a clean tunic. Brynjolf walked over after finishing the bottle of Black-Briar mead. “Did something happen, lass? Maven isn’t upset, is she?”
Estinan turned as she put on the tunic. “I’m alive?” She laughed with a wide grin. “There was some hermit living under the Meadery. Tried to kill me. I’m fine.”
Brynjolf took a step closer and moved the collar of her tunic. He looked at the wound. “Magic?” He also noticed the bruises on her neck.
“Ice spike. I’m fine.” Estinan moved away and readjusted her tunic to cover her wound. She fixed her hair, trying to cover the bruises. She turned back to Brynjolf. “Do I get to keep what Maven gave me?”
Brynjolf looked at her. “What did she give you?”
“Dagger. Enchanted.” She flipped the blade and showed him.
Brynjolf looked at the ornate dagger. Maven must’ve liked her to give her payment outside of what she normally would. She did work fast. And efficiently. Maybe she would be the one to fix the mess they were in. “Aye, you can keep it. Maven will pay the guild for your work. You’ll get your cut when that happens. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow.”
Estinan smiled and placed the dagger back into its sheath. She then placed the blade into her boot as she took them off. Estinan sat on the bed and leaned back, looking up at Brynjolf. “Now, unless you want to join me in my bed, I am rather exhausted.” She smirked as she watched his reaction. A slight twitch at his lips. He fidgeted with his hands. His heart thudded against his chest.
Brynjolf smiled a bit and he looked at the bed. “It’s a little small to share, lass.” He chuckled. “I will let you sleep then. Good night, lass.” Brynjolf turned and left.
Estinan stood up to remove her pants. She climbed back into the bed and pulled the scratchy blanket up to her shoulders. Oh, she would need to get new bedding for herself.
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Nico Di Angelo x sick!Reader 🤧
Pairing(s): Nico Di Angelo x Gn!Reader
Already did simple hc but decided to stick more to the original req
Never would Nico have expected to have to bare the consequences of indulging in your weird little romance fantasy of experiencing the snow with your lover, aka him.
Even going as far as sneaking out of camp to get a taste of the winter wonderland that was the outside of the bubble surrounding it.
So now, here you both are in his cabin. Between the two of you, he was the only one capable of standing without sneezing, coughing, and getting too dizzy to stay standing.
Which is funny, considering that you’ve seen him in such a compromising position before (when he would shadow travel)
He luckily managed to haul your ass out of your cabin and get you into his. Unfortunately for him, it was as a last resort since you refused to acknowledge how sick you were and now here you two are.
Once again, Nico poked your side. “Are you really going to keep refusing to let me help you?”
You grumbled something unintelligible then moved your head to be muffled even more by his pillow.
Nico sighed. “I know I’m not like the most qualified to help you” if anything he’s the one killing stuff.
“But I still can help you, yknow. So stop being so frustratingly stubborn” Nico waited a few seconds waiting for you to say something. When you didn’t, he rolled his eyes.
These were the times where he really hated falling in love with the idiot known as you. Despite trying to get your attention for what spanned across only/s a few hours- he’s getting pretty over it.
He began to shove you back and forth where you laid. “Cmon, atleast take this” you finally turned to face him as he shoved a medicine bottle your way. “You’ve already eaten yea? Take this then” before you could retort he walked away, not too far outside of his cabin.
Just far enough to escape your unwillingness. Also far away enough where he won’t get the bottle pushed or thrown back into his hands.
Luckily, Nico must’ve left you a spoon sometime when you were pointedly ignoring him and left it on the bed. So, with nothing else to do but go along you spilled some of the medicine onto the spoon and drank it.
The tangy flavor wasn’t the greatest but you’d imagine if you opened your mouth to spew complaints, your taste buds wouldn’t be the only ones suffering.
After drinking two spoonfuls of the medicine- which you noted the spoon to have been abnormally large, adding to the torture- you called out to Nico.
“Nico!! Come back!” The only response you got was that of silence. You tried again, something that was sure to get his attention.
“…I’m dying..?” Right when you said that, the door creaked back open and Nico made his way back inside the cabin. “Where’d you go? Aren’t you scared that the harpy’s are gonna tear you to shreds?” Nico just shrugged.
“Not really, I could always shadow travel since it’s dark out now” he turned to you, a smirk creeping onto his face- one he clearly rejected so it only came across as a lopsided smile.
“Plus-“ he turned to you, taking a seat on the edge of his bed “I think I’d know if you were dying.” After a few seconds he “considers” the possibility, “well…”
You mock a gasp of offense, “I don’t look that sick!” Nico laughed, “that’s debatable, move over.”
You didn’t really know how he wanted you to move over when you were clearly bundled up and not open to moving- after shoving you and getting a taste of your defiance- Nico scoffed and rolled his eyes playfully as he crawled over you into the empty space next to you.
He pulled some blankets over himself and turned to you, opening his arms. “What?” You asked him as you turned to face him.
“What do you mean what? Yknow what” he moved his arms, urging you to move. You leaned in against him and wrapped your arms around him, this order was met with little defiance this time.
Nicos hand accidentally touched the back of your neck causing you to stiff up “you’re cold.” Nico laughed, “I’m always cold.”
“Guess that’s only more reason to warm you up” you nuzzled even more impossibly close to Nico, he stiffened up then wrapped his arms around you in turn.
“Goodnight” you muttered as your face was warmly tucked away in his neck. Goosebumps prickled on his neck, then Nico replied.
“Goodnight.”
#fanfic#gn reader#male reader#fluff#fanfic fluff#fluff headcanons#nico di angelo x male reader#nico di angelo x reader#pjo nico#nico pjo#nico di angelo#pjo fanfiction#pjo hoo toa#camp half blood#percy jackson fandom#percy jackson fanfiction#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#pjo fandom#pjo fanfic#percy jackson and the olympians#rick riordanverse#rick riordan#ghost king nico#pjo x reader#pjo series#pjo headcanon#pjo#sickfic
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Please I beg you to do a character analysis on Kakuzu <3 from whichever part of him you'd like
okay. i’ve got a two hour car ride and a playlist to listen to - lets take a crack at this.
i’ve talked about this a little in response to another ask, so i’ll be bringing up stuff that i have touched on before, but first and foremost - kakuzu is a very guarded character. a lot of the time, you need to pause and really observe him, peel back the layers, which is something a lot of naruto fans don’t really do - probably because kishimoto didn’t spend a lot of time on him and hidan. hell, there are some things that even i didn’t notice until i started this blog and had to pause and observe him.
so. when you ask the average naruto fan about kakuzu, what’s the first thing they would think of? money, most likely. and his love for money is a big part of his character - but is it really the biggest? he says that the only thing you can have faith in is money, which i have no doubt is his actual philosophy, but he still backs away from asuma and his bounty (which it’s clearly been shown that he wants) when pain calls them back to ame. hidan complains and tries to bargain for more time, but kakuzu shuts him up and falls back immediately. this could’ve easily been a moment where he too tells pain that they need more time, but no.
because kakuzu is loyal. one could even be so bold as to call him loyal to a fault, especially in the past and even more especially given his past. that loyalty is what allowed takigakure to betray him in the past, yet he still shows pain that very same loyalty. he even tells hidan that the mission they were given by pain is absolute - another thing that is very unexpected, given his backstory.
so what does this tell us? that kakuzu believes in akatsuki's plans, or at the very least has a lot of respect for pain. (this plan being nagato's original, not any of the three-or-four-different-plans-in-a-trenchcoat-bullshit that showed up in the war arc.) now, kakuzu is also very obviously jaded from a long life in a world like naruto's, so i'd say it's up to interpretation how much faith he actually had in akatsuki, but do you really think he'd stay if he didn't see himself getting anything out of it in the end?
and that brings me very-much-not-seamlessly to my next point: he's not as uncaring as he acts, and this is best illustrated through his relationship with hidan.
now, when you look at their relationship, the general consensus would be that they hate each other. and once you look a little deeper, it seems like hidan cares more then kakuzu. according to some sources, he only joined the akatsuki because of kakuzu, and he openly shows concern for him in the fight versus team 10 + kakashi. but what's often overlooked here is that kakuzu does the same, and that's likely because you have to look even deeper to see it.
on the surface, kakuzu seems to be at the very least annoyed with hidan at all times. he berated him and talks down to him most of the time, and hidan retaliates. they seem to be at each other’s throats most of the time. but kakuzu has a lot of faith in hidan’s abilities. the minute hidan gets his curse on asuma, kakuzu’s thoughts are about how he’s 35 million ryo richer, which shows that he truly believed that hidan had it in the bag. the same goes for the fight with team 10 + kakashi - when they get separated, kakuzu openly expresses that he believes that hidan will kill shikamaru. he also shows concern for hidan, which is best shown, again, in the fight with team 10 + kakashi. kakuzu might not show it as openly as hidan does, but he does care about him. unfortunately, since we get to see so little of them, this is the best example i’ve got and we can only speculate how this care extended to the other members of the akatsuki.
which brings me to the next thing i want to touch upon - his anger and how it’s presented to us. or rather, not presented, because it’s an informed flaw.
the kakuzu we’re told about through other characters is apparently famous for entering a murderous rage every time something annoys him, but the kakuzu we’re shown doesn’t match this. the kakuzu we see is jaded, stoic, and grumpy, but he’s never mad. the most we get is him taking a single swipe at hidan after he griped about a bounty, but that was just in the anime. we know that he’s killed four former partners in this murderous rage of his, but he never shows a sign of being even close to snapping in the manga. and yet this “anger” is what most of the fandom chooses to cling to when it comes to him, which i think is because it’s something that can be observed from how other characters talk about him and not something that you need to observe from him. still, kakuzu’s murderous rage is an informed flaw, which i think is disconnected from how he’s presented to us, especially when we dig a little deeper.
in the end, i don’t really have a conclusion to all of this. it was mostly a way for me to point things out that most people might’ve not noticed. but in the end, this is just my personal interpretation of all these little things, and i’m not trying to claim that it’s the only correct one, but i’m just saying - i believe that there is more to him under the surface.
#ask#kakuzu#<-i’m happy w this so i’m putting in the main tag sorry#ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!#i just have a hard time answering things if i’m not in the right mindset especially when it comes to longer things like this one#but just now that i cherish every ask i get and that they WILL be answered… eventually
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AAAAAA!!! Ok I have some thoughts on this too. I actually don’t want Korekiyo to be more likeable and I don’t really mind the whole inc3$t thing, it reminds me of Norman Bates. I take the whole feelings for his sister as another part of him being delusional and an unreliable narrator and they were never actually in a relationship. I don’t think anything nasty or gross should be “separated” from him, as that’s what makes Korekiyo, Korekiyo. He’s an absolutely insane guy that has extremely twisted views on humans and tried to explain why murder and other illegal things aren’t actually bad because people only made laws saying they were bad. And I don’t think that his backstory drives people away from the rest of his character, I mean half of the content you see of him is actually people pumping out sympathy points for him because of his fanon backstory. I also don’t think the writers should’ve done anything to make him more palatable. In fact, in the artbook, Kodaka wrote down how he was planning to make Korekiyo even creepier, but the staff told him it would be too much (this is literally a game about murder how would it be too much??) But yeah I really hate the whole gr00ming headcanon and whatnot. He most likely does have childhood trauma but he doesn’t need this overblown tragic backstory so he can just be another character who does terrible things but turns out he’s just misunderstood and now has a scapegoat for all his wrongdoing. He would still be an amazing character and villain. This might be a little too much opinion but I also don’t like it bc why are we blaming a girl who has zero lines who we never see on screen whose personality is only hinted by an unreliable narrator for a man’s actions….and there’s a lot of double standards in not just Korekiyo’s fanbase but the DR fandom as a whole as well. People sweep Korekiyo’s actions under the rug because of a popular fan theory, but Mukuro who was explicitly shown to be manipulated by Junko has multiple posts made about her and how she’s a terrible person too and she’s apart of organizations and stuff. Or when people downplay Korekiyo being a serial killer by saying “Maki killed people too” etc. Maki was at the hands of a cult, was tortured every single day, and had to kill people for her own life and for the lives of others. Korekiyo killed people with his own free will for his own sick reasons. And once you start analyzing the girls that he finds “unworthy” and why he praises Kirumi so much, you start to realize that he selects his victims based off of his judgement on how well a woman performs femininity in his eyes. I’m going to mention Victorian hysteria so here’s something to look back at for reference:
What I mean is, to make this segment as short as possible, Maki is quite blunt and tends to not sugarcoat anything which would most likely get her called a “b1tch” Miu, and yes I know she lacks any sort of boundaries, but she’s very vocal about her urges desires sexuality etc etc, and is disliked by Korekiyo for being too “vulgar.” If Miu were alive in the Victorian Era (which Korekiyo seems to be very fond of) she would be diagnosed with hysteria (aka what women who acted out of line with societal norms were diagnosed with), and these are the symptoms which she meets quite a few of.
I also wanna mention that Miu is literally on the same freak level as Korekiyo, has the same kinks as him and Korekiyo has even said some inappropriate things about himself out of the blue (when he mentioned the women of a village he visited begging him to stay) yet for some reason he hates Miu for having all of those common traits with him. He’s also rude to Maki and Miu on multiple occasions (ie. before the third trial) Like, Miu doesn’t even say anything remotely nasty here, and he just insults her unprovoked
And when you look at all of this, and then look back to Chapter 2 when he’s constantly fawning over Kirumi (who is literally the Ultimate Maid, and gets called “mom” constantly by the cast even though she’s expressed her dislike for that but i guess they don’t care), and then you look back at the “The Hysterical Female” article, especially the first paragraph, Korekiyo holding Kirumi to such high regards compared to literally any other girl in the cast starts to become unsettling.
So now that we’ve talked about how much of a jerk he already is, now I need to talk about how he literally starts entering douchebag territory.
Just listing a few examples:
the way he handles Angie (keep in mind she’s still alive just unconscious)
literally wearing her around his neck….carelessly plopping her on the floor, and then immediately knocking her over. and it gets worse.
“No, not just because I could” he saw an opportunity, and he took it, just because he could. Not only was Angie alone and had her back turned, but she was also killed around 2am. Everyone else would have been in the dormitories sleeping, so even if Angie didn’t get so unlucky, nobody would’ve been there to help her.
And….the love suite event. “The love hotels aren’t canon!” “It didn’t actually happen, it’s a fantasy!” I’m aware of that but I’m going to be treating it as such until people stop trying to cover up for Korekiyo. Nobody ever says that Miu is supposed to represent her abandonment issues at the end of her Love Suite. No one covers up for her, I sure as hell don’t. It sickens me how nobody takes what happens to Shuichi seriously and how even in situations where Korekiyo is clearly in the wrong, none of the sympathy goes to the person who he wronged. I’ll never understand how most of the reactions to his love suite were either “I wanna be Shuichi so bad” or feeling bad for Korekiyo somehow. Korekiyo mocking and taunting Himiko for how she’ll never forgive him also flies over people’s heads.
Dishonorable Mentions include Korekiyo’s birthday tweet this year from Kodaka:
yeah that doesn’t really help his case at all
Like I said, while I don’t mind the inc3$t plot (oh lord that sounds so weird), taking it away doesn’t make him a better person. He would still be a serial killer and he would still be manipulative, kind of misogynistic, not gaf about consent, a sadist, and just a pretty mean person in general. I honestly think that the staff should’ve let Kodaka make him even worse, I personally enjoy Korekiyo being an absolute menace to society. He’s a character who’s fun to hate because he deserves it, but also a character who’s fun to love because he’s so interesting. I apologize for writing the whole Declaration of Independence as well. Yeah but like I said I’m tired of people trying to find ways to make him more likeable. That defeats the point of his character.
am I the only one who’s sick and tired of people trying to make korekiyo redeemable, just curious
like tbh i prefer psychological horror antagonist eroguro bdsm Suehiro Maruo perverse artsy romanticist edglelord ninja sadomasochistic folklore cunt with a strict diet of human meat and psychedelics korekiyo over quirky nerdy guy that just happened to commit a few crimes but don’t worry he didn’t mean it and now he goes to therapy instead of the death penalty and hogs all the sympathy that should’ve been given to the near 100 young women that he brutally murdered and shows absolutely no remorse for korekiyo
and just a little thing to add I don’t think enough people acknowledge that korekiyo as actually kinda mean and manipulative as well
but yeah I love him as a character Im just pissed at everyone treating him like he’s innocent, and the writers didn’t do him dirty imo people are just mad that they didn’t make him sympathetic. also keep in mind this is a very abbreviated post about him. I’m currently in the process of writing an entire script for a video I’m making about him to truly get all of my thoughts about this out.
and dare I mention the fact that so many people still say “korekiyo is so overhated!!” or “he’s such an underrated character!!” as if 80% or more of the fandom is constantly glazing him. I also wanna mention AUs and fics where the serial killer part of korekiyo is just completely taken out and he reads more as misunderstood than creepy. from what I’ve seen people want a korekiyo that’s a good person, which doesn’t make any sense. he’s not ����𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 to be a good person. the entire point of his character is that he’s an icky disgusting genuinely creepy morally corrupt guy.
#whats so funny is that im also pretty sure korekiyo was written as a character intended to be hated or make people uncomfortable#korekiyo shinguji#danganronpa#drv3#miu iruma#angie yonaga#rant post
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Batman: You need a new costume. That one provides no protection.
Danny: oh I cant.
Batman: You won’t owe me for it.
Danny: no I literally cant. Like if i remove it it just returns.
Batman:………. Explain.
Danny: look *takes off glove and explodes it into pieces*
*glove reforms on his hand*
Danny: see? Can’t get rid of it. It’ll just heal itself.
Batfam: …
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#batfam#danny fenton#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#Tim: I want one 😭#dick: it would save soooooo much time instead of manually repairing or replacing a damaged suit :(#Danny: I like yours though. you don’t have to change your entire reflection of how you view yourself to change your hero look#batfam: wut#Danny: my appearance is based on my how I view my identity. if I believe I’m supposed to look a certain way I will#danny: but since I’ve had this look for so long it’s hard to change it#Damian: can’t you add stuff to your suit?#danny: maybe? I haven’t tried since most equipment I had available would hurt/maim/kill me#Jason: that answer just created a million more questions how are you like this?
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I just skimmed through the art part of your blog and holy bajeebus your LMK art is so beautiful and the headcanon ideas you come up with are so good I wanna steal em-
Kinda wanna see like a part 2 of the little angst you did between MK and Macaque a while ago. It's so interesting and I wanna see Macaque's reaction in your art style. (You don't have to of course, it's just a suggestion [idk if i spelled that right])
Thanks for reading and hope you have a good day/night!
Hope this is to your liking ^^
Part one here
#I’m sure there are some character nuances im forgetting but well 🤷🏽#I want their misunderstanding or whatever they have going on between then come to a head. literally just going ‘wait what’#for me I think it’s entirely possible that there was an actual fight and maybe tension leading up to that point#cause I feel like macaque is not just bitter about thinking he died to wukong but maybe some stuff that built up to that#maybe the fight was just the breaking point. maybe they’re idiots who don’t talk about it because they think they’re on the same page idk#chipper-smol wrote a cool theory abt them using macaques ‘you’re nothing’ line in s4ep1. from what I understand it could be a direct parall#parallel to when he said that to MK right before MK regained his nerve and hit macaque in the eye.. since flying bark foreshadowed monkey mk#waaaay back in season 1 (where his shadow is his monkey form in the opening) i think that could be deliberate#and they could have gotten billy to voice an entirely different line for that scene. but they reused his line from s3#in a very specific scene with wukongs narrative foil. hm#that aside I would have liked to hear billy voice the ‘you abandoned me’ line that would have killed me. but that’s just me lol#also looking at this I should have shaded the last frame to make it look more dramatic and serious but I ran out of time :(#if anything I want to see MK try and help them get back together. poor kid tries so hard to understand people so I think it would be cool to#see that happen. that’s what I like about him.. he asked macaque why he was working for LBD instead of accusing him of dooming everyone bc#he wants to and he tried to comfort spider queen by admitting he was scared of LBD too 😭😭#my art#myart#Lego Monkie kid#lmk#Monkie kid#lmk spoilers#Lego Monkie kid spoilers#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#lmk swk#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lmk season 4#Lego Monkie kid s4
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Little reference sheet thing for Zane because I physically cannot draw characters without adding a ton of extra details that just don’t exist
Alt with my doodles under the cut
#Yippieeee I have finished one of my 17 billion works in progress#WI love adding unnecessary stuff to characters designs just because I can#I WILL make the design 2x more complicated to draw and I WILL suffer the consequences#On one hand I really wanna draw like the Lego characters with fingers and such so I can use them for poses#But it still looks weird to me#I think it’s because I don’t normally do three fingers on any characters#But I wanted to#hermmm#I love changing my art style every time I decide to actually finish an art thing#i am at it again#ninjago#art#digital art#ninjago dragons rising#zane julien#I broke my streak of only drawing ice emperor stuff#Looks at literally every other unfinished drawing/animation I have knowing full well that I have not in fact broken that streak#Yippiiieeeee!!!#Please don’t kill the quality tumblr I am begging you
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also I keep doing the thing where I have an interaction. astarion disapproves. I sigh. I reload the save before the interaction. I kick him back to camp. I do the thing. I pick the lad back up.
#eve lae’zel likes me better than him it’s kinda funny#him and karlach like. she’s a surprisingly tough cookie#I also picked her up? kinda late?#it was a case of I was scared to do stuff on the map#I also didn’t pick up wyll for a hot minute bc I coudlnt find him#I’m better now about looking around + talking to everyone l#I spent like. an hour and half talking to people around last light#I still don’t have halsin#ALSO IM SO SORRY GAMERS#I accidentally killed minthara. so she is uhhhh MIA from my current game#I do want to play w her one of these times#I might have to make a different oc for it tho#I know I could have knocked her out and she would show up ;—;#I was. so anxious about the goblin camp that I kinda jsutjddudjdjdjddj#on the list of things to do now that things in the game are less scary#I ain’t going back anytime soon tho like I wanna finish the game first I think#gosh act 1 is huuuge compared to act 2#I’m waiting for the we fix the problem and turns out there’s a lot worse problems going on#unless act 2 is just truly as short as I’m imagining#but we’ll see! don’t tell me tho I wanna find out obviously#owen plays bg3
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Not to make “tag vent sunday” a thing but Idk how I can go from having a great string of days where I feel happy and confident to just. Randomly fucking dropping. And feeling like the actual worst.
#okay so here’s the thing#QB and I have been doing lil activities online lately#which helps him with his stuff he has going on and helps me to not feel fucking lonely all the time#bc i had another hangout friend but I Very Much Screwed That Up Tee-Bee-Aych#so I’ve been late to most hangouts. i constantly have little issues pop up where I’m so sure I’ll piss him off#friday night like an hour into the hangout I went ‘idk how to say this but like i recgonize I’m being quiet and if you want me to talk more#please lemme know’ and he told me that he was having some worries attached to that so we talked things out and it was fine#ITS ALWAYS FINE#AND SOMETIMES THAT IS WHAT PUTS ME ON EDGE OR MAKES ME START FUCKING CRYING (off call) WHICH IS EMBARRASSING TO ADMIT BUT LIKE#LOOK I LOVE THAT HE’S PATIENT AND UNDERSTANDING. ONLY OTHER PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS THAT LEVEL OF CHILL IS MY ACTUAL PARTNER#BUT I’M SO FUCKING SURE THAT I WILL SCREW IT UP TERRIBLY. LIKE DISASTROUSLY.#SO LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? BECAUSE PART OF MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME TO JUST GHOST EVERYONE AND RUN AWAY#SO THAT I CAN AT LEAST CONTROL THE OUTCOME BUT LIKE#I REALLY WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH QB AND WB AND BB AND I’M STRUGGLING SO HARD WITH THIS#like lowkey the thought of screwing up in the same way I always have is literally painful and my chest is killing me I just—#god I fucking hate this shit#can I get the stardew heart ranking system please?? so I know exactly where I stand all the time???#I don’t necessarily trust people to tell me what I’m doing wrong until it’s too late
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Y’all don’t even understand, I have a NEED for transfem Vader.
Transfem Anakin is also very fun and I’ll always enjoy it, but it hits different post-Mustafar.
It hits different when it’s an Anakin who expressed their gender in subtle but affirming ways, who would get the prettiest clothes from their fashionista wife, who loved their pretty long hair and enjoyed caring for it, who had a soft and lilting voice, is trapped in a hypermasculine suit, stripped of their human appearance, and given a very deep and booming mechanical voice.
It hits different when she doesn’t bother to express her gender anymore, when everyone around them either perceives them as a man or a droid, when Palpatine rubs her new agonizing existence in their face. Because Palpatine had always encouraged Anakin to express themself however they wanted (he may be a pos but he was a pos with a goal) and would sometimes gift them jewelry/accessories. And he still does this, but he exclusively gifts them hyperfeminine accessories that they no longer feel comfortable wearing or keeping, even if they could. He uses her identity against her constantly and they just numbed themself further to the point of apathy in the hopes that he drops it.
They hate looking at themself in general, but they especially hate looking at themself without the suit. All the euphoric aspects of herself that she loved were either twisted or gone. The hair, the tan, the voice, the lean yet strong musculature (decades of carrying around hundreds of pounds of extra weight really bulked them up), hell, even their eyes.
There was one time when she decided to put on the rose gold heart necklace Palpatine gifted her after a successful mission. They put it on when out of the suit, and it made them a little happy before their self hatred came back ten fold and they never did that again.
While Anakin was fairly subtle about their gender expression, they were still openly trans, so Obi-Wan knew (although they were only comfortable sharing her use of she/her pronouns with Padme. Everyone else just knew they used they/them. Palpatine knew about her use of she/her bc he’s a pos who invaded her privacy constantly).
Owen and Beru were vaguely aware that she was trans (Obi-Wan did correct their pronoun use) but not necessarily enough to really explain it well to Luke beyond “your father was trans and used they/them pronouns, idk the specifics”. So Luke knew the basics, but it never went beyond that. He’d alternate between parent and father, but tended to default to father if only because he wasn’t told about Anakin’s gender identity until he was in his teens. (There was no particular reason for this, they just generally didn’t talk about Anakin. It’s not like anyone in Luke’s daily life knew them. And the Lars’s use of “they” went unnoticed by Luke until much later)
So when Obi-Wan told Luke about Anakin, Luke was able to ask someone who knew them more about them. As Obi-Wan didn’t have the full picture, Luke only really learned a few more details, and he was initially more interested in her life as a Jedi than anything else, really. Can’t really blame him there, he was under the impression that he’d have more time to learn about Anakin from a primary source and who cares about gender when you can have a lightsaber!
Anyway, my mind keeps going to a Vader lives au where Luke and Anakin grow closer, Luke helps Anakin ditch the suit, and as Anakin grows used to being out of it, they end up growing angsty. Luke already told Anakin he’s aware of their trans identity, but Anakin hasn’t shared everything. They aren’t comfortable going by she/her anymore (not yet) and as they slowly get healthier (the sun livening up their skin, their prosthetics replaced with better models, surgeries allowing for more independent breathing, therapy) the more upset they get about their hair not growing back.
They’re more so upset that they’re upset. After everything, they’re losing their cool about being bald?! But the visible progress got their hopes up, they’re relationship with Luke got them to start expressing themself more, and their hair was one of their most favorite things about themself. It starts getting to them and they begin to perceive it as a punishment. Of course they shouldn’t get to grow their hair back, they were Darth MF Vader for over 2 decades! Why should they have hair?!
Luke notices their distress and doesn’t know what to do (he tried asking them but Anakin isn’t there yet, they aren’t ready to tell him). He dreams, and Padme comes to him in those dreams to communicate the problem. Well, not everything, just that they are distressed about their hair refusing to grow back. Or maybe instead of that, Luke manages to unlock this information from Anakin’s tragic backstory. This option takes much longer.
Anyway, unsure of how to solve this, he goes to Leia as she’s the resident hair expert. She and Anakin aren’t close, she tolerates their existence and they mourn what could have been. They don’t speak to each other more than necessary. Regardless, Leia is a compassionate person and she can see the toll it takes on Luke and Anakin. She feels nothing positive towards Anakin, but her disdain won’t interfere with her morals so she helps.
She suggests Luke buy them a wig, so they enlist the help of R2 (they know R2 was once close to Anakin) and get Anakin a very high quality wig that they can style however they want. Anakin doesn’t know what to do. At first they refuse it (punishment, remember?) but Luke manages to eventually convince them to at least try it on. He guilts them by using his concern for their well-being.
The wig breaks something in them, the last trace of the walls they built over 2 decades come crashing down. They feel a wave of euphoria and despair, glee and misery, gratitude and guilt. They’re feeling all over the place but they can’t stop staring at their reflection. It’s so obviously different than it was when they were 22, yet it was one of the best things they’d ever seen. They felt like they had themself back, standing there wearing the beautiful wig, their children further back watching them, nothing but support on their faces.
Anakin retreats for a bit after that. They make sure to tell Luke they’re okay, they just need some alone time. Once they re-emerge, Anakin is finally able to tell Luke she also uses she/her pronouns and identifies as transfem. Luke supports her 100% and is aggressively supportive when she gradually starts wearing more feminine clothing out and about (he’s aggressively supportive of her presence among the rebels regardless, but this is different). It’s not that he’s worried people will be transphobic towards them, exactly, but he’s hyper aware of how people see Anakin and doesn’t want to see her stop being herself because she perceived something as a slight against her (and, alternatively, he doesn’t want her to scare/threaten people when their current status amongst the rebels/new republic is so fragile).
I don’t know what it is but transfem Vader/Anakin just hits different from transmasc and I need it.
#anakin skywalker#darth vader#trans anakin skywalker#transfem anakin skywalker#trans vader#transfem vader#star wars#this kinda got away from me lol#anyway i just love the thought of transfem post-mustafar/po-vader anakin#idk#look im cis so feel free to tell me if any of this is transphobic#i don’t think it is but i could be wrong lmk#i lowkey basing some stuff off a friend#who is transfem but didn’t start to transition til they were 25ish#and who only wants to start using she/her as they go further along their transition#like anakin was 22/23 when they got vaderified#that’s really young. they didn’t need to have a completely solid grasp of their gender yet#i just want the angst of a vader who spots a pretty dress they can’t wear and kills someone in frustration#and for that angst to be healed with post-vader anakin finally getting that dress and living freely#twirling that dress skirt around#injuries and all#44/45 and finally free#idk im just in love with the image that exists in my head#hasan’t
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Wondering if Season 6 Tommy ever lies awake at night thinking in an unbreakable spiral loop:
I should’ve dumped those fucking guns I should’ve listened to Uncle Charlie I should’ve dumped those fucking guns I should’ve listened to Aunt Pol I should’ve dumped those fucking guns I should’ve dumped those fucking guns I should’ve dumped those fucking guns
#That’s where it all started#Why Campbell paid attention#how Churchill learned Tommy’s name#how he met Grace#In S2 there is not only The Chosen One/Campbell has chosen you; Tommy also asks Why Me#Why me becomes anger becomes why not becomes why fucking not becomes why#the rage in him right from the beginning#what those guns represent#the government enabling yet another shitty pointless war bw Libya-Italy they don’t even really care about#Looking at those guns thinking of all those soldiers dying and Tommy freshly back to England from war#they want them this bad they have to pay for them#should’ve dumped those fucking guns#And then they use him to start another war in Ireland and his attempt to prevent a war in russia nearly loses him his son and then he’s—#—trapped in a personal war in S4 with that crazy awesome urban war scene through the tenements only broken apart by civilian cops#s5 and s6 actual wwii#Personal and political all in one#man they really really shouldn’t have killed Freddie off I still think their scenes over time would have rivalled any Alfie-Tommy scenes#Freddie was so well positioned to straddle this and have a parallel descending arc into wilful anarchy where Tommy becomes uncomfortably#—representative of the status quo. Freddie doing anything it takes and stuff who suffers; Tommy doing anything it takes but pulling it all—#—into and onto himself in a personal way. Freddie outward Tommy inward
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Looove feeling like a fucking child whenever I talk to kids my age ebecause I always feel like I’m either talking about my toys or like they’re better than me because I spent a majority of my childhood trying to make myself just as smart as everyone else because I genuinely thought I was stupid and didn’t deserve to live
#I wasn’t stupid I was like 10#god it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t fucking talk to people#I make my voice sound to nice I make myself talk quiet I don’t know how to respond#I don’t want everyone to hear me so I practactly whisper I don’t even say hi I just nod or wave#I love being autistic this is just the one thing I hate abt it is how fucking different you are from everyone else#I think differently I know that I don’t know how to navigate smth like this I always make myself the dumber or the less knowing one#I make myself think I’m a manipulator because I try so constantly to make people like me by making myself look like a ‘nice person’ like how#an animal plays dead or shows its stomach to say ‘oh don’t kill me I’m not a threat haha you want me around’#my therapist said I should try looking into psychology collage or smth she said I’d be good at it#I just think about how I think too much#my grades are shit I don’t wanna be in college for 8 years because my teacher said I’d be good at a job#then again I think psychologists make a lot of money and that could help with the art stuff#like Helen Highwater being a lawyer and doing all this crazy art shit on the side#fuck man what the fuck am I doing goodnight
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